There are days when you just want to connect with yourself— to go inward, to sit with your thoughts, to feel your own presence fully.
But the ones around you don’t always understand that space. That pause. That need.
There is a difference between being alone and being in solitude. Alone can feel empty… but solitude is full—full of awareness, peace, and self-connection.
Yet society keeps whispering the same message: you need someone. You shouldn’t be by yourself. As if being with yourself is somehow less than.
For the past few years, I’ve heard it over and over: “You need to find someone.” “You can’t end up alone.”
But I’m not alone. I am with myself.
And I’ve learned to enjoy my own company— to look forward to the quiet moments where I can just be.
I’ve been judged for not being in a relationship, for choosing time at home with my daughter and my mom, for not chasing noise just to fill silence.
And the truth is… I don’t need noise.
Yes, I would love to share my life with someone— to grow older together in a meaningful, loving, supportive way.
But life teaches you, again and again, that you don’t lower your standards, your morals, your values, your expectations just to avoid being alone.
You wait for someone who lifts you up— not someone who steps on you just to feel taller.
So why is being with yourself seen as something negative? Why does choosing your own peace feel like a label society wants to place on you?
because not everyone has learned how to sit with themselves yet.
Maybe wave 11 is about realizing that being with yourself is not something to escape… but something to honor.
Procrastination is a very strong word. It implies that you decide to postpone starting or completing your tasks. Some people think this is just laziness or disorganization, because sometimes you don’t even know where or how to start.
But for me, procrastination is more than that.
I believe our internal system is pre-wired with old beliefs and past experiences, even the ones we don’t remember. Things we learned as children, things we heard growing up, things we saw our parents worry about. All of that, consciously or unconsciously, forms who we become and how we make decisions.
For example, when I was a child I loved painting. Art was definitely my thing. But materials were expensive, and taking classes would have been a luxury we couldn’t afford. Slowly, that love for art became, in my subconscious, something unaffordable, something beautiful, but not for me and I never pursued it.
So it wasn’t procrastination — it was scarcity.
I learned from a young age: I can’t, I don’t have, I can’t afford. Those thoughts created a false illusion that I was not able to do it. Even when my heart and mind wanted it
Fear stopped me. so I didnt procrastinate art. I buried it.
I think we do that with many things in life.
Why don’t you travel if you think you might love it? Why don’t you change your wardrobe for something you really like? Why never try new foods, new ideas? a different hair style?
Why are you stuck in a place you don’t want to be, in a relationship that is hurting you, or in jobs that make you unhappy?
Many times it’s not because you are lazy or irresponsible, but because your subconscious is telling you: No. Stop. You can’t do that.
It’s interesting how sometimes things align. Last night I was walking and thinking about today’s Wave, and procrastination was the word in my mind. This morning I realized how many things I have neglected for months. Not because I don’t want to do them, but because I’m afraid to ask for help, afraid to do it wrong, afraid to find out that maybe I can’t.
I’m also reading a book, and today’s chapter was about procrastination. There was a sentence I highlighted, and I closed my eyes for a moment to really process it:
“The Single Most Destructive Thing You Can Do Is Nothing.”
That sentence stayed with me.
Because what happens if you try and fail? You learn another way. What happens if you try and succeed? Then you try again and improve. But if you don’t try, then nothing happens, and nothing changes.
I’ve been thinking about TodayWaves for a long time, writing ideas on pieces of paper, thinking about it while driving, while working, while walking. Always thinking it has to be perfect, that I’m not ready, that it’s not good enough, that maybe it’s a bad idea, and that “what if” was slowly killing the idea before it even started.
This is a work in progress. I learn something new every day. This is my project, its my baby, and it needs to crawl before it walks, and walk before it runs. No rush, just progress, enjoying the process.
Apple was born in a garage. TodayWaves was born in the middle of a storm in my life.
So maybe it’s not procrastination. Maybe it’s fear.
And maybe the wave you fear is the one that can change your life.
Not confused — tangled. Like I know where things are, I can see the threads clearly, but something stops me from pulling them apart.
I’ve realized that knowing isn’t the problem.
Most of the time, I know exactly where the knot is. I know what’s in front of me. I even know what needs to be done. And still, I pause. I delay. I freeze.
Paralysis doesn’t look dramatic. Sometimes it looks like getting stuck on small things. Sometimes it looks like distraction. Sometimes it’s avoiding what needs my full attention because moving feels heavier than waiting.
That’s the knot I’ve been sitting with.
A therapist, to me, isn’t someone who untangles things for you. They help you look at the knot without rushing — without pulling too hard. A quiet reminder that clarity and action don’t always arrive together, and that we all need a friend, a therapist, someone to walk alongside us.
And that timing matters.
Right now, things feel messy. Some parts are ready to move — and I haven’t moved yet. Other parts are clear, but not ripe. They need time, not force.
I’m learning that untangling doesn’t always mean fixing. Sometimes it means staying present long enough to notice what’s actually happening inside — the resistance, the fear, the tiredness, the readiness that hasn’t fully arrived.
Today isn’t about solutions. It’s about awareness.
About allowing myself to go slowly. To act where I can. To wait where I need to.
This project has lived in my mind for several months. I had the need and the desire to write about my life — my ups and downs — but I didn’t know how to start.
Maybe I’m a perfectionist. Maybe I was scared of not doing it right. Honestly, I don’t know what was holding me back.
I started with an idea and then got stuck in the logistics of how. How to begin. How to build it. How to say things out loud.
I’ve been learning as I go — slowly, imperfectly.
One thing became clear to me: if I wanted this to matter, it needed a foundation — a name, a form, a place for my mind and heart to meet.
TodayWaves is that place.
TodayWaves is a space where I open my mind and my heart in one place. No hiding. No trying to be socially correct. No trying to please anyone but myself.
This is where I process what’s inside — the things I don’t always say out loud, the thoughts I don’t always share, the emotions I carry quietly but still need to express. It’s the safe space of my soul.
This isn’t about having answers. It’s about noticing today and letting the wave exist.
Maybe you’re going through something similar. Maybe you’re curious to see what comes next — like a novela, a reality show of the soul, unfolding one day at a time.
