Wave 59: Where Is the Real You?

Life sometimes feels like it’s pushing us to be unhappy while pretending to be happy.

Society always expects more from us. More from our homes, families, friendships, finances, careers, appearance, and now, somehow, our social media presence too. We are expected to keep up with everything and still make it look effortless.

But where are we in all of this? Where is the real you? The one who cares and loves, gets tired, doesn’t always have everything together, but still has value even when you’re not the perfect influencer, don’t have the most followers, and don’t get the most likes.

Are you still there, underneath the responsibilities, the expectations, the comparisons, the pictures, the likes, and that constant feeling that you should be doing more?

Yesterday, I had a conversation with an old friend. We talked about life, the things we’ve been through, the things we want, and all those things that somehow get pushed aside when life gets busy. It was one of those conversations where you start talking about one thing and end up talking about everything.

He knows how much I love golf. And, as he always does, he told me, “Nena, you need to keep playing. You can’t stop.”

And he’s right. I love golf. I really do.

But it’s easy to look at someone and wonder why they aren’t doing more of what they love. Golf is expensive, and it takes time. When you’re responsible for a home, a teenager, bills, family, and all the other things life puts on your shoulders, you can’t always just pick up your clubs and go play three or four times a week. I would love to. I really would. But sometimes once or twice a month is what I can do, and that doesn’t mean I love it any less.

As we kept talking, I realized how often we do this—not just with golf, but with so many parts of our lives. We look at what we aren’t doing and feel like we need to explain why. Why we don’t travel more. Why we don’t exercise more. Why we don’t go out more. Why we aren’t dating. Why we haven’t accomplished the thing we once said we would.

We start defending our lives, as if we owe everyone an explanation for the pace we’re living at.

But nobody else is living your life. They don’t know every responsibility you’re carrying, every decision you’re making, or everything you’re quietly trying to hold together.

And then there is social media, making everything even louder. We scroll through other people’s lives and somehow convince ourselves that everyone else is happier, more successful, more beautiful, more adventurous, more financially comfortable, more loved. We see the vacation, the dinner, the new house, the perfect family picture, the smiling face—and forget that we’re looking at a moment someone chose to show us.

Meanwhile, we are living every moment of our own life. The beautiful ones, the difficult ones, the boring ones, the expensive ones, the exhausting ones, and the ones nobody sees.

Somewhere in the middle of trying to keep up, we can start living for the version of ourselves that other people expect to see.

For me, it’s remembering that I need to make room for myself too. Not by ignoring the world around me or walking away from my responsibilities, but by making room for the things that make me feel like myself.

Sometimes that means picking up my golf clubs once or twice a month, enjoying the day, laughing with an old friend, and remembering that I’m still the woman who loves the game.

Sometimes it’s just grabbing my paints, pulling out one of my jackets, and starting a new design. Sometimes it’s a new project around the house. Sometimes it’s simply sitting quietly and enjoying my own space.

It doesn’t always have to mean going out. It doesn’t always have to mean doing something worth posting online. Sometimes it’s just me time.

And sometimes that quiet time is where I reconnect with myself, with God, with the universe, with the divine, with that deeper knowing of El Yo Soy. The part of me that exists beyond what I accomplish, what I own, what I post, or what anyone else thinks of me.

Life doesn’t have to look perfect to be a good life. It doesn’t have to look like anyone else’s either.

It just has to feel like yours.

Maybe Wave 59 is about remembering that the first person you need to please is you. Not by ignoring the world around you or walking away from your responsibilities, but by making room for the little things that bring you joy, even when they don’t make sense to anyone else, even when they don’t come with a big accomplishment, a perfect picture, or a thousand likes.

So tell me…

What are the little things that still make you smile, simply because they make you happy?

The things you don’t need to justify, explain, or share with anyone.

Maybe that’s where we find a little more of ourselves again.

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—TodayWaves